From The Catbox

Here at the Alley, we have come up with a new label, which is also the title of this post. The work of writing things that will get this label lies with me, since being negative is my responsibility, and I shall not shirk. The Alley Cat and I believe that now is the time for some good seasonal grousing, since Thanksgiving has ended and the worst part of the year has begun.

I'm not much on any of the holidays, and as I work this week on a monster essay on Martin Luther King, I got to thinking of how Martin Luther King day is not even a blip on the holiday radar. It says something about the country in general when a day about 'us' goes unnoticed. But boy howdy when the 'regular' holidays come up, it's all I see and hear about.

There's Halloween. Not bad. Black cats, that sounds good, and Gothic things. But what's it really about? Knocking on the neighbor's door, holding out an empty kitchen trash bag and saying, "Gimmie." No dude, them tax dollars ain't enough.

There's Thanksgiving. I've heard someone say it is about thanking God for America and remembering the founding fathers breaking bread with some Native Americans who are soon to be sequestered into a reservation. Who cares. Bless the food, pass the meat, fill my plate, it's time to eat. Don't forget the gravy, and the Kay-O-Pept-Aid.

Speaking of religious jive, there's easter (should I capitalize that? Hell, I ain't going to worry). There's the old Jesus died, came back, -what a twist of fate- and now I'm saved theme. What? Is it about me again? How nice.

Forth of July? Sure. Hold my beer while I blow things up, all over the neighborhood, late into the night while keeping my neighbors awake. Honestly, where do those guys get all the money for all those fireworks? What's that? Indee-pend-what? Can't hear you. M80. Really loud.

Then there's Christmas, brought to us by Corporate America. What's that under the tree? Stuff for me? And there's another big meal on this holiday too. Wow. A tag team starring "Gimmie" and "feedme." Too bad we do this once a year. Hasn't Jesus got a brother or sister?

Then there's Martin Luther King Day. "I have a dream that one day all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will live together." That's all well and good, but Martin, where's my free stuff? Oh gee. Well, I guess that's why it ain't on the holiday radar.