Cookies?

I was in the mood for a chocolate chip cookie the other day. That was when I found out that such cookies are hard to find. The cafeteria? He was a good source, haven't seen any chocolate chip cookies in over a week. Oh, he has those bullshit Grandma's Cookies. The guy is not up on the latest news from the baking industry. Grandma is dead and I don't like her cookies anymore. Coffee shop? Got all kind of frilly-do berry scone things. Some aren't bad, but that's still a crap substitute. Ever since they switched to some 'famous' Portland baker the selection has gone to pot. No more cinammon rolls, no more lemon croissants, and never any cookies. Communist bastard baker. Where is Mrs. Fields when I need her?

Now, in Portland, you can get a 'massage', an escort, see all kind of girls swinging around poles, get whipped by a dominatrix, drink hundreds of different beers and countless wines, and spend nine thousand dollars on an Italian racing bike (Colnago). Want a chocolate chip cookie? How about a shit-out-of-luck cookie?

Some things you have to do for yourself, two of which are going potty and making chocolate chip cookies. Gonna find the big red Kitchen Aid mixer, don't let any body part get into it that you can't live without, buy some chips, blow the dust off my top secret recipe, and bake them myself. Right in my low-tech Kitchen Aid oven. Those people out there running cafes and bake shops can bite my honey brown sunbaked ass.