The horny and the thick

I visited the old site. Like any good cat, I bring back a little prize...

There was a particular night, a long time ago, probably in the late seventies, that will stay in my memory for the rest of my days. I'm sure it was in the summertime, as I stayed out later than usual.

I went to my best friend's house like I did every day, and we wandered around the apartment complexes where he lived shooting the bull and coming across people out enjoying the evening.

We talked to one guy who observed the poor condition of a nearly empty in-ground swimming pool. He said, "I expect some fucking Lock Ness Monster to come out of there." We thought that was funny and true. There was a lot of algae growing down in there.

The night seemed to have a strange mystical air, people appeared heightend in some way, women had a look in their eyes, their bodies charged, and I got the sense they were on a kind of hunt.

At various times we thought we heard someone cry out or shriek in a strange way from off in the distance. As young males with our minds often on that precious and unobtainable encounter known as sex, my friend told me those sounds had to be a cry of ecstasy. I shrugged. Maybe.

We saw a large dog trying to hump a much smaller dog. The big one was some kind of shepherd mix and I don't remember the breed of the little one. It was about the size of one of those lasa-apso-ipso- pipso dogs. The big dog kept humping the air and trying again and again, achieving nothing while keeping a mindless smile dogs often have. I just shook my head.

We thought we saw something going on in a car in a parking lot. The windows were a little fogged, but that was all. We joked about it and tried to convince ourselves that maybe we did see something, but we knew we hadn't. We walked on saying, "Are we going to see something? Did you hear that? What are they doing?" There was nothing.

It became late and I walked home. I didn't have my bike with me and I don't remember why, but I assume it was another encounter with a pot hole that left me with a bent rim. At the time, the people in Lakewood Washington thought the state bird was the pot hole, so the road conditions remained lunaresque. I walked down the train tracks then turned onto a dead end road and came across a white early sixties Ford Station wagon. It was completely out of sight from everyone except those walking down the tracks as I was doing. I thought "Why is that old Ford sitting out here by itself?" Then I thought I saw it move. "Boy, this really is a strange night, I'm seeing things." As I got closer I noticed I couldn't see through the windows. They were fogged. Really fogged. Another thought rolled around in my head, "It's really muggy in there. How long had this car sat at the end of the road?" I got closer. Maybe it really was moving. Very slight. I walked past it. Through the window, I could see a human form on it's hands and knees. Because of the windows, this appeared as a diffuse naked shape with very white skin. At the same time it was clear that the car was moving, rocking back and forth. That was when I caught on to what was happening.

I walked on and thought, "Wow. Everybody's doing it tonight!" Everyone except myself, the one who's head was as thick as oak.